DBT Skills Can Help "Protect Yourself from Emotional Contagion"
“I learn about DBT skills in group but I don’t remember to use them in the moment.”
“I feel too overwhelmed to think about DBT skills.”
“There are too many DBT skills to choose from! How do I know if I am using the best one?”
One factor that can get in the way of desired change is a lack of knowledge or ability to know how to do so. While attempting to change but not knowing how to do so effectively, one could be accused of not being motivated. More often what we see at Great Lakes Therapy Center is lack of skill rather than a lack of motivation. It is important to differentiate between the two because problem solving for willfulness and problem solving for inability look different. Problem solving for willfulness involves exploring factors in the way of becoming willing and practicing skills to increase willingness and to decrease willfulness. Problem solving lack of ability or knowledge looks like regularly attending and participating in a DBT skills group and practicing the skills regularly outside of group.
When first beginning a DBT skills group, it can be frustrating to acquire knowledge about new skills and have trouble figuring out which DBT skills to apply to different situations. At Great Lakes Therapy Center, we ask for a 6 month DBT group commitment because that is how long it takes to learn all the skills in a DBT comprehensive group model. Group members often stay for a year because the first 6 months is like learning vocabulary for a new language and the second 6 months is like learning how to actually speak a new language. Going to group regularly is important and on its own will not likely provide desired change.
The most effective way to access skills in a crisis is to practice them regularly when you are calm. You learn and practice the heimlich maneuver before someone is choking. You learn and practice swimming in the shallow end before going to the deep end. You learn and practice driving a car in the parking lot before attempting to go on to the highway. DBT skills are the same as any other skill you have learned throughout your lifetime. They need to be practiced. There is weekly homework assigned in group and if you practice skills only when homework is assigned, mastery of the skills is less likely to occur.
Even with practice, you still might have trouble at first recalling skills. If you do not pick what might be most effective in the moment, remember that using a skill is better than no skills at all. The goal of skills is at a minimum to not makes things worse. If you are trying to use skills in the moment and handle the situation effectively, that is an effective step towards change.
Learn more about different ways to learn DBT skills at Great Lakes Therapy Center under Treatment Options.